'The One'

There's a lot said on the wedding forum I've been spending time on lately about the concept of 'The One' - that when you find your wedding dress you will know: the earth will move, you'll burst into tears and choirs of angels will sing the glories of your overpriced frock.

Which is an awful lot of pressure. Not for me - I eschewed the whole process (compelled to by my bodily bulk - bridal shops stock samples in sizes 10-14 only), but for more pragmatic brides. Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the matter:

[The One is] a concept that works because of the way we buy dresses.

You try on a selection of dresses - it's obvious that certain styles will suit your body or your taste more than others. It may be that the one that suits and flatters you best is the first one, or the eighth.

You may then visit another shop - if you haven't found a dress that truly appeals, you'll go looking for something which does. if you have found a dress you love, you'll be less likely to give the others a chance.

Often people talk themselves out of the one they liked best because of price: but it stands to reason that pricier dresses will be made in lovelier fabrics and with more attention to design. Therefore they prey on our minds as we try on other dresses. Or it may be that our emotional state when we try on certain dresses is more conducive to our liking ourself in the frock. Or it may just be that any given sample fit better or was more to our taste.

The point i'm making, not terribly well, is that if we could try on all the dresses in the market on the same day and with the same mindset, we may well not end up with the dress we perceive to be 'the one'. But wedding dress shopping is a limited exercise - rather like choosing a life mate, no?

Ultimately, then, one's chance of finding a dress we like more than all the others we have tried on is absolute (assuming we try on more than one). The chances of us feeling strongly positive toward any one dress depends on the section of the market we experience happening to encompass a dress which actively appeals to our personal ideas of taste and suitability. This in turn depends on a person's preconceptions going in to the process (i will look good/stupid in a dress), and how well the market (in section or whole) caters to that individual's body shape, taste and budget.

Gahhhh!

It's just like finding a life partner!

One step closer.

I did it! I have found myself a dressmaker. Or rather I have followed up enough of the dressmaking leads I had been given, to make a decision about one. Here name is Tanya Dimitrova, and today I went to her studio in Hammersmith. She's a fearsomly glamorous, well-groomed Eastern-European lady who used to work with Alasdair's 'Best Mel' at Karen Millen, before setting up on her own fairly recently. Mel recommends her very highly, and she instilled great confidence in me (despite being a little scary... it's the grooming!)

She briskly decided that the first stage was to make my pattern up as a toile (a mock-up made of cheap fabric), so she took my measurements (rather loosely for my self esteem) and I go back in about four weeks to try it on. She very much gave the impression that she could have the whole project finished by then, but said that it was best not to complete the frock til mid July, as "most brides, I find... most brides... they lose some weight" - she seemed uncomfortable, but I agreed fulsomely. I'm not sure she's had to deal with many brides my size!

So - the photos peppering this post are those I gave Tanya today, and between them suggest what's happening with the dress. I'm not sure I could be any more excited.

Intimidated!

So, despite having been off work for over a week now (it's great being a teacher, sometimes) I still haven't followed up on any leads re: finding myself a dressmaker to make The Dress. The very thought of calling one of the numbers I've been given fills me with dread.

What if they're all snotty because of my size?

Will they try and charge double because I happen to be wearing this dress to a wedding?

Will they want to come to see me in my shit-tip of a flat?

Will they tell me I've left it too late?

It's like the anxiety you get when you take your car to a mechanic - but worse, because I'd like to think I do know a bit about the process...

It's got so bad that I nearly ordered this dress today (£89 - Vivien of Holloway). The largest size would just about fit on the waist (36 inches), and would do so comfortably by the wedding, but the chances of my bust shrinking to 44 inches are slim-to-none, if you'll pardon the pun. But anyway: it's shiny satin, which is undesirable, and although I want a shorter-than-traditional dress, this is just too short.

I got the idea, though, because after what seemed like lifetimes of to-ing and fro-ing of facebook messages my sisters finally agreed on a frock. First suggestion was this lovely clover pink frock from Oli (£70). Actually, I originally thought I could choose a fabric and then my four bridesmaids could choose a knee length style they liked and have it made. But circumstances have meant that two of the bridesmaids can't make it, and so for two it makes sense to keep it simple and buy something off the peg. If only they could agree... The dress above, which I loved, was vetoed on the grounds of length - my middle sister doesn't like her curvy calves. Although, when pressed she struggled to say what she did envisage...

A couple more suggestions were made by senior sister, and finally one by middle sister, but none had the 'wow' factor. Until I had a brainwave.

Obviously, It's Vivien of Holloway again - this time in a low-sheen cotton, and therefore just £59. Sans black accessories, but with a full white petticoat (£45). Eldest sister loved it, and ordered it immediately. It arrived promptly and fitted like a glove, so she chivvied the middle sister along and got hers ordered too. Apparently it's fab. Now it's brighter pink than I was planning, and tea-length, so I now have to be pretty precise if I want the shade of pink I'm using as an accent, and the length of my dress to be different. Which is another reason not to go for the ivory satin number above. I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and phone these scary frockmakers. But not until after the bank holiday...